Appreciate the Moment

What are the most memorable moments in your life?  As you reflect on those moments, consider whether you were able to appreciate it “in the moment.”  We are often missing out on what is happening now for one reason or another.

Were you possibly wondering when the next shoe might drop? Were you caught up in wondering if the moment were deserved?  Did you start being hard on yourself and tell yourself you didn’t deserve it? 

Were you busy sharing it on social media?  This one is probably the easiest to overcome – decide in advance that you are going to live in the moment and you will share the memories after the event is over.  You may find that you enjoy the sharing much more because you lived in the moment, then when reviewing the pictures – you are better able to look at them and have those feelings of joy all over again.  It also allows you to articulate exactly what you were feeling in that moment to your audience.  Your Tweets can have much more substance behind them after the fact as well.  There are of course some events that can still be shared live that don’t require you to be focused solely on feeling something.  Learn the difference.

We must learn to back to living in the now and quit complaining about the past. In many situations, we cannot change our past.

Once I asked myself, “If I would have had a better attitude and believed in myself more – would I have taken the Iowa state wrestling championship instead of placing fourth in the state?”  I’ll never find out because the past is over.  I have chosen to move forward and instead of constantly rehashing the past. 

Many people relive the past throughout their entire lives.  Maybe that is why I believe in putting 100% effort into whatever I do, and I refuse to question the outcome.  If I have truly given it my all, the outcome is what should have happened.  Living with “shoulda, woulda, coulda” can consume you if you let it.  It will still your joy.  Re-train your emotions to stop questioning these things. 

Don’t drag your past into your current or future space. Allow it to fade away and come a distant memory and/or chose to see those times as a life lesson that can be passed on to future generations. Our positive and negative experiences make-up who we are today. We can use all our experiences to make better life adjustments and choices. 

Remember to appreciate YOUR moments!  Share some of your moments with me after the fact and let me know how it felt to be living in that moment.



Posted in Coaching.


Founder and CEO of The JAFA Group, James A. Farmer, PhD has worked in human relations, counseling and coaching for over 35 years. His vast experience, leadership, passion and success all contribute to a particularly strong understanding of workplace issues and their creative resolutions.
Dr. Farmer is a widely respected author and lecturer. He has written or co-written four books as well as numerous articles which have appeared in esteemed journals. His textbooks – Positive Influences and High Risk Teenagers were required reading in the curriculum at various major universities.
Dr. Farmer also maintains a strong presence in the business world. His expertise in areas such as motivational psychology, human relations, communications, and interpersonal skill development has made him a popular and sought-after consultant for many companies. Exxon, Dow Chemical, Texas Instruments, Blackmarr Associates and various human service agencies are among his impressive list of engagements.
He received his BA in social work and speech in 1974 and his MA in counseling from the University of Northern Iowa in 1976. Dr. Farmer subsequently received his MSW from the University of Iowa in 1978 and went on to attain his PhD from The Ohio State University in 1986. His academic appointments include the University of Northern Iowa, The Ohio State University, Louisiana State University, and the University of Texas at Arlington. Dr. Farmer is also a Certified Chemical Dependency Counselor and a Barksdale self-esteem analyst. As well, he is certified in dispute resolution and is a Licensed Advanced Clinical Practitioner and a Board approved supervisor in the state of Texas.
Dr. Farmer began learning to self-coach himself in the 4th grade in order to overcome early childhood trials and tribulations. He eventually enrolled in a life coaching course and was dismayed to find that many simple topics were made complicated and needlessly complex in a way that prohibited effective learning. He’s been taking notes ever since, and a lifetime later continues to adapt, learn, grow and teach.
The many students of Dr. Farmer are perhaps the greatest testament of his work. Thousands and thousands of people have come to him, and their success stories are endless – students have gone on to earn PhDs, management positions, high level government jobs and more. He’s especially proud of the foster children whom he’s counseled as a part of his therapy business.
Dr. Farmer’s passion continues to evolve in the field of developmental coaching – helping people to succeed in life, guiding them to help themselves, and learn authentic self-esteem.
He lives in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, yet enjoys traveling extensively to promote his work.

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