Mental Health Cloud

Depression is a mental health cloud over America.  Depression causes millions to harm relationships and even destroy their lives through substance abuse, unexpected killings, suicide as well as numerous other health, economic and social issues.  It doesn’t care about social status, if you are rich or poor, young or old – it’s an epidemic that doesn’t discriminate.

We live in a constant state of trying to please others or trying to be what they want.  We beat ourselves up over our past mistakes.  We measure ourselves against the successes of others. We often believe that a relationship, job or some other material thing makes us who we are.  We often value ourselves based on what we think that others think of us. We don’t praise ourselves enough. We don’t let ourselves feel happiness because it somehow feels wrong that XYZ isn’t happening or that if we feel happy, we may jinx it and something bad will happen.  There are all sorts of reasons that we won’t let ourselves be happy or to achieve the success we deserve.  It’s often said that we are our own worst enemy and, in many cases, this is true.

When you experience things going wrong in your life, what emotions do you feel at the time?  Do you feeling frustration, anger, hate, guilt, worry or anxiety?  Each of these emotions can cause feelings of depression.

Here are five false concepts that cause us to feel bad emotionally and can lead to depression:

  1. I do things that I don’t want to do, but I must do them.
  2. My basic need is to have situations, events and other people’s behavior conform to my values and expectations.
  3. Other people and unwanted situations and events have the power to make me feel bad.
  4. I don’t deserve to feel good because of my mistakes, failures and shortcomings.
  5. My future is largely determined by circumstances beyond my control.

If you would like to have a rational framework for reprogramming yourself and feeling positive emotionally, check out these realities of human behavior:

  1. I am my own authority and am in complete charge of my own life.
  2. My basic need is to feel good emotionally, mentally and physically.
  3. I have the power to choose to feel good or to feel bad – always.
  4. It is always my birthright to feel good, my past does not dictate my future.
  5. I create my future by my present thinking.

If you want to eliminate a depressive episode, you must drop false concepts and integrate the realities of human behavior in your present (and future) thinking.  By telling yourself these concepts and strongly believing in them over a period, you will notice a change. Replacing negativity is they key to happiness.  You must believe you have the authority to choose whether you want to feel good or bad in each situation in your life.  Only you can decide what to feel – will it be negative or positive?

Posted in Coaching.


Founder and CEO of The JAFA Group, James A. Farmer, PhD has worked in human relations, counseling and coaching for over 35 years. His vast experience, leadership, passion and success all contribute to a particularly strong understanding of workplace issues and their creative resolutions.
Dr. Farmer is a widely respected author and lecturer. He has written or co-written four books as well as numerous articles which have appeared in esteemed journals. His textbooks – Positive Influences and High Risk Teenagers were required reading in the curriculum at various major universities.
Dr. Farmer also maintains a strong presence in the business world. His expertise in areas such as motivational psychology, human relations, communications, and interpersonal skill development has made him a popular and sought-after consultant for many companies. Exxon, Dow Chemical, Texas Instruments, Blackmarr Associates and various human service agencies are among his impressive list of engagements.
He received his BA in social work and speech in 1974 and his MA in counseling from the University of Northern Iowa in 1976. Dr. Farmer subsequently received his MSW from the University of Iowa in 1978 and went on to attain his PhD from The Ohio State University in 1986. His academic appointments include the University of Northern Iowa, The Ohio State University, Louisiana State University, and the University of Texas at Arlington. Dr. Farmer is also a Certified Chemical Dependency Counselor and a Barksdale self-esteem analyst. As well, he is certified in dispute resolution and is a Licensed Advanced Clinical Practitioner and a Board approved supervisor in the state of Texas.
Dr. Farmer began learning to self-coach himself in the 4th grade in order to overcome early childhood trials and tribulations. He eventually enrolled in a life coaching course and was dismayed to find that many simple topics were made complicated and needlessly complex in a way that prohibited effective learning. He’s been taking notes ever since, and a lifetime later continues to adapt, learn, grow and teach.
The many students of Dr. Farmer are perhaps the greatest testament of his work. Thousands and thousands of people have come to him, and their success stories are endless – students have gone on to earn PhDs, management positions, high level government jobs and more. He’s especially proud of the foster children whom he’s counseled as a part of his therapy business.
Dr. Farmer’s passion continues to evolve in the field of developmental coaching – helping people to succeed in life, guiding them to help themselves, and learn authentic self-esteem.
He lives in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, yet enjoys traveling extensively to promote his work.

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