Hate is not an Option

While sitting in the park one day and watching ducks swim in a pond, a few insightful thoughts surfaced.

Life has many walls and fences that divide, separate and categorize people. These walls block people from learning how to get along with one another. Then I thought about some of the barriers that come between us such as ethnic communities, sexual identity, race, status, wealth, education or even personality differences. There are a lot of barriers that separate us.

So, what are we doing to breakdown such barriers and embrace diverse culture? The answer it seems – is not much!

This is a question everyone must ask when faced with differences that lead to hate. Keep in mind, you are free to hate or love. It is a matter of choice. I believe we all want to do the right thing. If you have chosen to love – your road will be tough with all types of twist and turns. But in the end, you will likely be happy with your choice.

On the other hand, if you selected hate (many do choose that) then your life will surely be filled with difficulties. Hate operates like a bottle of poison you have just taken, hoping to feel better down the road. You decide what path you want, and I hope in the end you do not choose hate.


Posted in Coaching.


Founder and CEO of The JAFA Group, James A. Farmer, PhD has worked in human relations, counseling and coaching for over 35 years. His vast experience, leadership, passion and success all contribute to a particularly strong understanding of workplace issues and their creative resolutions.
Dr. Farmer is a widely respected author and lecturer. He has written or co-written four books as well as numerous articles which have appeared in esteemed journals. His textbooks – Positive Influences and High Risk Teenagers were required reading in the curriculum at various major universities.
Dr. Farmer also maintains a strong presence in the business world. His expertise in areas such as motivational psychology, human relations, communications, and interpersonal skill development has made him a popular and sought-after consultant for many companies. Exxon, Dow Chemical, Texas Instruments, Blackmarr Associates and various human service agencies are among his impressive list of engagements.
He received his BA in social work and speech in 1974 and his MA in counseling from the University of Northern Iowa in 1976. Dr. Farmer subsequently received his MSW from the University of Iowa in 1978 and went on to attain his PhD from The Ohio State University in 1986. His academic appointments include the University of Northern Iowa, The Ohio State University, Louisiana State University, and the University of Texas at Arlington. Dr. Farmer is also a Certified Chemical Dependency Counselor and a Barksdale self-esteem analyst. As well, he is certified in dispute resolution and is a Licensed Advanced Clinical Practitioner and a Board approved supervisor in the state of Texas.
Dr. Farmer began learning to self-coach himself in the 4th grade in order to overcome early childhood trials and tribulations. He eventually enrolled in a life coaching course and was dismayed to find that many simple topics were made complicated and needlessly complex in a way that prohibited effective learning. He’s been taking notes ever since, and a lifetime later continues to adapt, learn, grow and teach.
The many students of Dr. Farmer are perhaps the greatest testament of his work. Thousands and thousands of people have come to him, and their success stories are endless – students have gone on to earn PhDs, management positions, high level government jobs and more. He’s especially proud of the foster children whom he’s counseled as a part of his therapy business.
Dr. Farmer’s passion continues to evolve in the field of developmental coaching – helping people to succeed in life, guiding them to help themselves, and learn authentic self-esteem.
He lives in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, yet enjoys traveling extensively to promote his work.

One Comment

  1. Read this with interest today as I explore your websites. Very much enjoyed talking with you. You have a great mind and have done many good things and seem capable of doing even more good. I look forward to a developing friendship with you.

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