Suicide – A Tribute to Anthony Bourdain

Dear Anthony,
I watched your series and enjoyed your many travels. It was as though I was right there with you experiencing all the wonderful foods. You touched so many cultures and souls just by being yourself. We never met but your series allowed us to touch one another’s spirits. Your life was meaningful and served such a great purpose. You brought extraordinary joy to so many people in this world. I thank you for opening so many windows to so many cultures. I pray and hope that your life be remembered in the grandest of ways and not be overshadowed by your sad ending. I do wish you had been able to overcome your demons and understood the value you held to so many in this world. Your presence will be missed by people near and far. Thank you again for everything you brought to life, I am forever grateful. I pray that your soul now has peace. I won’t say good-bye but farewell for now…

I want to leave my readers with something that I hope fits the situation.

You are the most important person in the world. Do not allow life’s obstacles and thoughts that are designed to defeat or even kill you to you hold you down. Remember you are the gatekeeper to every thought that enters your mind. There are harmful thoughts that handicap us – do not allow this to happen to you. This is your moment in time. No matter how tough a challenge may seem at the time, you can probably overcome it. If you can’t overcome it, you can work around it. Nothing will last forever. In the moment, I know that is hard to see. Believe in yourself!! I know you have had to struggle, fight and control your demons. You have weathered the storm – you’ve won for another day – don’t let that pass you by without acknowledging it. That is an accomplishment. You learned a life lesson along the way. Savor your moment of conquering the challenge. Reward yourself at the end of each day/hour/minute for even the smallest of accomplishments. Allow yourself to feel the joy of all your milestones along the way. Don’t wait until you reach the end of every goal to savor a reward.

One of the quotes I like to use to keep me going is “This too shall pass.” I encourage you to say these words when it’s tough. Write them on your mirror, make them your screen saver, set an alarm to remind yourself – use any means necessary to constantly remind yourself that things do change. Hold on to a better day coming. They do come!

Let’s move forward from being in the dumps to feeling happy about who you are and not worry about tomorrow. If you think too much about tomorrow, you’ll start to focus on those challenges, unexpected events and worries. So, take care of today and learn to live it one second, one minute, one hour and one day at a time.

You are never alone my friends! There is always someone out there who will talk to you, even if you think there is not. You may contact me if you need to. I may not be able to immediately speak to you, but I will help anyone who is feeling like their life is not worth living. I will help you find your purpose and meaning because you do have both.

Posted in Coaching.


Founder and CEO of The JAFA Group, James A. Farmer, PhD has worked in human relations, counseling and coaching for over 35 years. His vast experience, leadership, passion and success all contribute to a particularly strong understanding of workplace issues and their creative resolutions.
Dr. Farmer is a widely respected author and lecturer. He has written or co-written four books as well as numerous articles which have appeared in esteemed journals. His textbooks – Positive Influences and High Risk Teenagers were required reading in the curriculum at various major universities.
Dr. Farmer also maintains a strong presence in the business world. His expertise in areas such as motivational psychology, human relations, communications, and interpersonal skill development has made him a popular and sought-after consultant for many companies. Exxon, Dow Chemical, Texas Instruments, Blackmarr Associates and various human service agencies are among his impressive list of engagements.
He received his BA in social work and speech in 1974 and his MA in counseling from the University of Northern Iowa in 1976. Dr. Farmer subsequently received his MSW from the University of Iowa in 1978 and went on to attain his PhD from The Ohio State University in 1986. His academic appointments include the University of Northern Iowa, The Ohio State University, Louisiana State University, and the University of Texas at Arlington. Dr. Farmer is also a Certified Chemical Dependency Counselor and a Barksdale self-esteem analyst. As well, he is certified in dispute resolution and is a Licensed Advanced Clinical Practitioner and a Board approved supervisor in the state of Texas.
Dr. Farmer began learning to self-coach himself in the 4th grade in order to overcome early childhood trials and tribulations. He eventually enrolled in a life coaching course and was dismayed to find that many simple topics were made complicated and needlessly complex in a way that prohibited effective learning. He’s been taking notes ever since, and a lifetime later continues to adapt, learn, grow and teach.
The many students of Dr. Farmer are perhaps the greatest testament of his work. Thousands and thousands of people have come to him, and their success stories are endless – students have gone on to earn PhDs, management positions, high level government jobs and more. He’s especially proud of the foster children whom he’s counseled as a part of his therapy business.
Dr. Farmer’s passion continues to evolve in the field of developmental coaching – helping people to succeed in life, guiding them to help themselves, and learn authentic self-esteem.
He lives in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, yet enjoys traveling extensively to promote his work.

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