One of the things I’ve learned in life is to refrain from fighting things I cannot change. Ultimately in your life, there will be things that cannot be changed; race, sex (although modern medicine is making this physically possible), chronic illness (yes, we can treat with modern medicine). There are certain situations such as a cheating spouse, natural disasters, and accidents that involve injury or death that we cannot change.
Even though a negative attitude is 7-10% stronger, it is the positive, accepting attitude that moves you in the upward direction you desire.
You might visualize a person attempting to climb to the top of a mountain constantly thinking negative thoughts. Do you think they will get to the top? Why?
Now visualize that person climbing to the top of a mountain while thinking positive thoughts all along the way. Do you think they will get to the top? Why?
When I wanted to obtain a PhD degree but I was told I could not. People gave me excuse after excuse as to why it could not be done by me. I had low grades, no money, poor study habits and low self-esteem. No African American had ever achieved that goal from Waterloo, Iowa during that period. I accepted all these criticisms. I did not resist the truth.
But, my critics forgot one very important thing – I believed in myself. I could take lemons and turn them into lemonade. I accepted what I could not change, and I became determined to change the things I could.
I learned good study habits, built my self-esteem and applied for financial assistance. While I could change these things, however I would never be able to change my skin color. Again, I accepted I was black, and this would always be a fact, but should not be an excuse to fail.
From that day I moved forward and never looked back. I stopped whining about life being so unfair and letting my color be a hindrance. I gave 100% in whatever challenges and adversities I encountered. It worked! I obtained my PhD. It continues to work for me today as well. I accept what is thrown my way and continue to use my resources to do the very best of my ability to ensure the best results possible. I retain an accepting, positive attitude that things will work out the way I intended.